Should do. Could do.

A few weeks ag Kasbo released his third album, The Learning of Urgency. The final track of the album repeats the phrase:

What you should do.
Could do.

It’s about wanting. It’s about restlessness. It’s about perfectionism.

I’ve felt this buzz deeply for a long time.

I should be working right now. I could be making more money. I should have 1% less body fat. I could have more friends. I should call my parents. I could be writing more.

The rumination is relentless. But it’s also served me. The desire to could and should has driven me toward my goals, although at a cost when not well-managed.‍

There’s good and bad

The book, No Bad Parts, describes Internal Family Systems (IFS), a process of unfolding and truly understanding one’s patterns. We often view specific characteristics as black or white, bad or good.

I am hard-working = good.

I am anxious = bad.

I am nice = good.

I am highly sensitive = bad.

The truth is more complex. Our collection of characteristics shape who we are and sometimes the “bad” comes with “good”.

The hard-working professional might be successful in their career, accomplishing their goals, but they’re restless and dissatisfied.

The anxious person might be apprehensive about everything, constantly second-guessing their next step, but they see around corners and arrive prepared for life’s surprises.

The nice person might be well-liked, capable of building rapport quickly with others, but they may lack defenses and get taken advantage of.

The highly sensitive person can be prone to feeling insecure, less emotionally resilient to external judgment, but this brings empathy and an ability to deeply connect with others.

Understanding these patterns – their good and bad – can lead to self-acceptance and an ability to leverage these characteristics for the positive.‍

Back to Kasbo…

The final few lines of Kasbo’s closing track end with:

It's a false thought to young minds
Irony of being in your twenties
Feeling like you're running out of time
A line we've all heard in this life of downers and daffodils
Find our highs in ground down pills and
And cigarettes by the windowsill
Still trying to fill your future with what you should do
Could do
Should do
Could do
We're running out of time

Yes, rumination of coulds and shoulds are exhausting and unproductive. But it’s also reality. We have finite time on this earth. The good news: You’re enough and there’s time right now to do.