The fallacy of “no pain, no gain”

I was recently asked:

“What’s something you used to believe that you no longer subscribe to?”

One particular idiom immediately came to mind:

“No pain, no gain.”

I was raised to value hard work. I grew up on the soccer field, pushed to my physical limit on two-a-day practices. I was praised for earning high grades in school after significant effort. I did yard work in the beating sun for candy and video game money.

I’m grateful for these uncomfortable experiences and I still value hard work, immensely. I admire those who make sacrifices and follow through on their commitment. But hard work doesn’t always have to pair with “pain”.

Perhaps a more appropriate statement than “no pain, no gain” is:

“More pain, less gain.”

Ideally we all find work, hobbies, and relationships that don’t feel like hard work (most of the time). Instead they feel natural and in flow. Of course, we will experience pain in moments—that’s inevitable—but progress in our career, activities, and friendships doesn’t have to be so difficult and if they are, perhaps a change is needed.

Consider the difference swimming upstream and downstream. With the same amount of effort (and pain) you can travel much further in the latter when the current is aligned with your destination. You’re literally in the flow.

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