How to make new friends as an adult

Try social sports.

It can be difficult to make friends as an adult, especially in a remote working world.

In youth, socialization was a daily part of our routine. We went to school, surrounded by peers. Our parents put us in after school programs, summer camps, and sports leagues with other kids.

Then we graduated into the working class, commuting to an office every day. We interacted with our coworkers and business partners, attending post-work happy hours.

But now many of us work from home. We can go days without speaking to another human in person. Many of us live semi-nomadic lives, working remotely from different cities throughout the year. And so do our friends. It’s hard to know who’s in town to hang.

Then the babies come. It’s more difficult to find time to spend time with friends that have children. Parents have even more responsibilities that eat into their weekends. Impromptu hangs are almost impossible when hiring a sitter is required.

It’s easy to live in isolation.

We’re more connected online than ever before, yet loneliness is abundant. As much as I love the internet and its ability to bring people together, we’re biologically wired for IRL human connection and many aren’t getting it.

So, what’s the solution? Social sports. Or at least, it might help.

Social sports are activities you can do with friends or strangers (aka future friends). They’re a Schelling point that minimizes coordination effort, a filter for people with likeminded interests, and an ice breaker for the socially anxious.

Examples of social sports

Technically nearly every sport could be social, but some are better suited for connecting with others and adaptable to varying skill levels.

Here’s a far-from-comprehensive list[1] of social sports:

• Running
• Cycling
• Golf
• Padel, Tennis, Pickleball
• Rock Climbing, Bouldering
• Basketball, Soccer, Baseball
• Skiing, Snowboarding
• Surfing

Recently I got into rock climbing and bouldering[2], a sport that’s uniquely single and multiplayer.

Sometimes I go to the gym solo and end up striking up a conversation with another climber. Climbing culture is very welcoming and positive as people co-conspire strategies for scaling a wall.

Sometimes I go with friends. Unlike some sports like golf, climbing is very accessible. If you’ve climbed a tree as a child, you can crush a v0 bouldering

Your CTA

If you’re feeling isolated, looking for new things to do with friends, or want to meet new people, pickup a social sport.

Join a basketball league.

Participate in a run club.

Organize a Sunday morning cycle crew.

Get a membership to a rock climbing gym.

Start a padel players group chat for your city.

You’re almost guaranteed to make friends and you’ll feel good moving your body.‍

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[1] I’m sure someone is going to be angry that I excluded their favorite sport. To be clear, I’m not attacking your athletic identity. ;)

[2] If you’re in Miami or SF and rock climb, let me know!

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