Beware of labels

Growing up is a process of meeting yourself.

When I was a kid, I had very little understanding of who I was. I lacked the ability to introspect. But that changed as I matured and began to ask:

“What do I really want?”

“What do I really need?”

“Why am I the way I am?”

“Is this normal?”

We often seek labels to help answer these questions. Labels provide comfort. They can be cathartic. “FINALLY! I understand why I do X."

Labels can also provide a sense of belonging. “PHEW! I’m not alone. There are others like me.”

This became even more evident for me after a recent text conversation with my good friend, Carmel DeAmicis[1]:

We’re inundated with labels more than ever, driven by more open conversation about mental health, the rise of talk therapy[2], and TikTok[3].

Labels aren’t necessarily bad but can be harmful when adopted as a part of one’s identity blindly. Over-fixation on labels can lead to rigidity and a disregard of agency.

Speaking for myself, when I first learned about the true meaning behind “introversion,” I felt seen. I could finally articulate why I felt so drained going to big events and my draw toward solo activities. I started to adopt the introvert label, using it as an excuse not to go out.

The truth is, I can be introverted without being an introvert. I don’t need to prescribe to the title. I can acknowledge my introverted tendencies but choose to live a non-introverted life.

Consider the labels you’ve adopted. Are they accurate? Do they serve you? Have you changed? Do you want to change?

Many of us have more autonomy than we believe. Question the stories you tell yourself. I'm trying to. :)‍

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[1] Of course, I asked Carmel for permission before sharing her text. She’s very open about this type of stuff.

‍[2] This interview with Abigail Shrier discusses the potential risks with talk therapy, specifically on impressionable children.

[3] TikTok visualizes labels. You can find videos for every type of personality trait or ailment. Sometimes the desire to belong or feel unique can be so strong that people adopt labels and their characteristics, almost subconsciously. An example of this is the rise of Tourette's behavior among teen girls, potentially inspired by TikTok (h/t Carmel).

[4] James Clear writes about this topic in his book, Atomic Habits. Here's a post on how reframing identity can be used as a tool for healthier habits.